Despite the piling evidence that very few romantic relationship is able to pass the test of time, many still strive for a lasting, committed relationship. The problem is, people don’t have a role model to demonstrate how to make a relationship last. Here are the ten "secrets" that are consistently named by relationship expert as guidelines to make a relationship last.
#1 - Love Yourself
It will be hard to understand why someone else will love you if you can’t love yourself. There are many ways to build self-esteem, check out the self-help section in your local bookstores or libraries for books on self-esteem and learn to love yourself. If you find it difficult to follow the techniques given or get the results you wanted, consider consulting a psychologist that can help you get to the root of your self-esteem problem.
#2 - Like Your Significant Others
It is not enough to simply love your partner. You have to truly like who they are. Liking someone means enjoying who that person is.
#3 - Respect Your Partner
Respecting your partner means being honest and open with them. It also means you have to consider their needs, wants and feelings. Usually, if you really like the person, respect will come naturally, even though everyone will be a little selfish sometimes. It is at this time that you need to constantly remind yourself to think of your partner and their feelings.
#4 - Communicate
Being open and honest isn’t always easy. You may find there are times where you don’t want to be honest because you don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings. Remember that your partner can read your mood and though they may not know why, they can tell if you are enjoying yourself. Communicating with your partner of your needs, wants, likes and dislikes allow them to understand your further and also show that you respect them as a confidant.
#5 - Fight Fair
Sometimes, even with open and honest communication, arguments do happen. Fighting fair when argument do arise allows you to maintain mutual respect in the relationship. Fighting fair means using the “I” statement instead of the “you”. “You” statements are statements of blame and are design to belittle the other party and it doesn’t work towards solving the argument. By using “I” statements, you are able to communicate your point without putting your partner in the defensive.
#6 - Compromise
You and your partner should be like a team working towards common life goals. While most people like to “win” arguments, both of you will come out as “big winners” if you compromise on certain issues. Solutions of compromise will allows both parties to contribute to the relationship and come out stronger.
#7 - Touch Each Other Everyday
Intimacy is a major component in any romantic relationship and while open communication allows you to be intimate on an intellectual level, some other communication do not need words. A touch on the hand, a hug, small gestures can say alot more to your partner than mere words.
#8 - Work At It
Romance is easy. Being a caring and contributing partner take work. People are fairly selfish by nature so most of the time you ought to remind yourself to think of your partner before yourself. It is also important to remember that you need to work on yourself and your contributions to th relationship instead of working towards changing your partner.
#9 - Spend Time Together
Couples that play together stay together. Spend time enjoying things together. Whether it’s taking up a hobby together or having a Sunday morning routine where you chat over a cup of coffee, enjoy each other.
#10 - Spend Time Apart
As important as it is to spend time together, you also need to spend time with yourself. Learning and growing on your own gives your tools to help build a stronger relationship because you can be a stronger contributor to it. However, not all of your time need to be spend on learning or participating in hobbies, sometimes, just by taking an hour out to meditate or soak in the tub can help clear your mind of stress you otherwise will take out on your partner.
Many of the ’secrets’ of lasting relationships aren’t actually secrets at all. Basically, it’s a matter of ensuring that you are with your partner because of who they are and of thinking of your partner before yourself on a regular basis.
Thanks for Reading
Good Luck !
Wingcent Ning
wingcent@singnet.com.sg
WingcentDotDreams.com
Singapore
P.S. : Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of 500 Lovemaking Tips, a book full of ways to spice up your lovemaking, adding more passion, pleasure andintimacy to your experience.
To read more, visit here ...
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